As a topic expert, I submit writing to goodtherapy.org. Here’s a brief summary and link to my most recent article regarding releasing the secret nature of traumatic memories if these memories are causing distress in your day-to-day life.
Everyone has secrets hidden away, often out of embarrassment or shame. Secrets can come at a great cost, however. Liberation and healing can happen in therapy.
http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/what-price-are-you-paying-for-your-secrets-0427175
With Western methods where by now there is a pill for just about every feeling and sensation that is distressful, the concept of working out of negative states naturally is an important one to discuss. Medication is not negative as long as it’s utilized with caution and in a way that does not make a person feel numb to their own emotions so that people can continue to learn how to manage negative feelings and sensations. Utilizing medication to the least extent necessary helps your body from becoming tolerant to different pills, which can only benefit you long-term for both mind and body wellness. Also, medication is indicated when your symptoms are more severe or if you are experiencing any safety concerns such as suicidal thoughts. Speak to your medical doctor regarding such concerns. Here are some tips to naturally help fight your depression, along with the symptoms that are targeted by these actions. You can create your own individualized holistic plan to getting better by incorporating the elements listed below:
Fear can be something that you do not even realize is holding you back from attaining recovery and health for mental health issues. The role fear plays in each of our lives can look unique to each person. Tackling the areas that you fear can free you from chronic problematic behaviors. It’s this feeling of fear which may actually keep you in your existing patterns. Approaching what you fear can help you attain a sense of empowerment. Many times fear keeps people avoiding or denying problems within their life. Whether this emotion is keeping you from taking the first step toward recovery or is limiting your quality of life, it’s important to understand where and how it shows up in your life. When you acknowledge the presence of fear, you can more easily move onto actual acceptance of your existing condition. This in turn will lead to healthier behaviors to begin the process of recovery (depression, trauma, addiction or substance abuse) such as entering treatment, asking for help, or simply sharing that this problem really exists for you.
Think of how fear is holding you back. Make a conscious effort to approach whatever you are afraid of in regards to your recovery. Much of the time, what we tell ourselves can only increase these feelings and keep us avoiding our problems. Changing your mental script can help you approach whatever is causing you fear (“I will fail at recovery” “People will judge me” “I can’t do this”, or “I won’t get better”). Whatever your thoughts are, work on changing them to more positive ones that help you approach your fears. Letting fear rule your life will only keep you from attaining peace and health in your day-to-day existence. Fear will also foster regrets later of what you did not do and/or worsen your existing condition. Take some time, and reflect on the role fear plays in your life and your recovery.
We all have our own way of dealing with our feelings. This week, I’ve been wondering about all the different ways people manage or deal with their feelings. What relationship do you have with your feelings? What do you tell yourself about feelings? Are you comfortable with emotions or uncomfortable? Are you fearful of experiencing them? My own personal style has been to deny them or avoid emotions by pushing them away or bottling them up for as long as possible. Sound familiar? Individuals struggling with substance abuse and/or trauma among other mental health concerns many times utilize maladaptive coping strategies to manage or numb difficult emotions, such as drinking, drug abuse, partying, staying over productive, and other activities or behaviors that keep you from confronting those emotions.
What makes letting negative or difficult emotions in so difficult? Much of the time, it’s what we tell ourselves will happen if we do or our beliefs about emotions. For example, emotions are dangerous. Negative emotions arise from painful experiences or events that occur in your life. Can we learn to welcome in the pain that we feel from emotions? Sounds strange I know. Working on accepting that pain will arrive at our doorstep from time to time, can help alleviate some of the anxiety and fear around difficult emotions. Maybe the resistance only makes these emotions more intense or heightened. We can learn to tell ourselves that we can survive the emotions that arise from certain events, because we have survived the event itself. This may assist us in approaching the work that is ahead with these feelings. We can either keep the door shut, which will have the emotions linger at your front door, or open that door and let the feelings in. Individual therapy can help you in developing a healthier relationship with your feelings and teach you how to approach your feelings so that you can begin to give up other unhealthy ways you have been managing.
Can we just allow ourselves to have self-compassion for knowing that the human existence can be difficult at times? That compassion entails allowing ourselves to feel the hurt in order to heal from the pain you have experienced within your life. Can we just learn to be kinder to ourselves for living in the human experience, which naturally includes pain as part of the process?
Most people have heard of the term mindfulness. Mindfulness comes from eastern Buddhist philosophy. In a world where life has gotten busier by the minute, it has become more and more difficult to fully engage in any one moment without thinking of what needs to be done in the next, worrying about moments in your past, or multitasking in the present to increase productivity. The practice of mindfulness is training yourself, to redirect focus to the present moment when you find yourself in the future or the past by simply directing your attention back to the present moment. Although this sounds simple, the practice is actually much harder when you first begin. It can be an eye-opening experience to recognize how much of your present-day and time is actually being spent in the future or the past. Whether you are enjoying a cup of coffee, driving, or talking with a loved one, you can easily engage in the practice of mindfulness in daily activities by making a conscious effort of focusing on the details of that particular moment or activity.
Mindfulness can be practiced by utilizing your senses, such as sight, sound, smell, touch, or taste to help ground you to the present moment more easily if redirecting your thoughts is difficult for you. Breathing is another method used to help ground you to the present. Learning to be in your present moment will help alleviate difficult emotions you may experience about your past or the worries that all humans experience about the future. Mindfulness practice has been shown to help improve emotional and physical well-being. Mindfulness helps you live the day with a fuller quality, reduces the level of everyday stress and anxiety, and establishes a fuller presence in anything you do. Mindfulness practice in the simplest form is exercising gratitude for the present moment.
Most families attempting to help a loved one who is suffering from alcohol or drug abuse get into treatment for the first time are typically ill-informed of to the levels of care and the resources that are available. Not all individuals fall in the same category in terms of severity. Abuse and addiction fall on a spectrum from mild to severe. Based on where you fall on this spectrum, will determine how much treatment and the level of care is most appropriate for you. Here are just a few benefits of an initial consultation and/or assessment:
The benefits of having an initial consultation include:
The benefits of an initial assessment include:
My hope in you reading this post is that whatever resources you may have for treatment get allocated in the best way possible to help you or your loved one get the most out of treatment. Attaining the right information regarding your program options as you initially enter treatment can affect the amount of assistance and help you have on your road to recovery. The more support you have, the better your chances at recovering and attaining long-term sobriety! Oceanside Psychology Clinic provides comprehensive consultation and assessment services to help guide families through this process. Read more under our services section.
A 12-step alternative program utilizes methods to treatment that differ significantly from the 12-step approach in a few fundamental areas. The philosophy of the 12-step approach is that an individual is powerless over their addiction and encourages surrendering. The 12-step also encourages one to identify as an addict or alcoholic. The 12-step alternative takes an empowerment approach where the individual is self-directing their recovery in initiating healthy choices and learning tools. By empowerment, it means people can learn to manage their substance use and addiction over time through psychological therapies and medical interventions. Alternative programs discourage labeling oneself, but rather recognize that the individual suffers or struggles with addiction as a mental health issue.
A 12-step alternative approach includes recovery methods that incorporate relapse as a learning experience within the recovery process. This approach accepts that relapse is part of the recovery process for the majority of individuals struggling with addiction. In other words, the program does not require complete abstinence immediately, but rather helps the individual come to this decision on their own through approaches such as motivational enhancement therapy, relapse prevention techniques, cognitive behavioral therapies, moderation techniques, and rational emotive behavior therapy, and other approaches. Over time, sobriety is extended as the individual begins to learn tools and gain confidence in their ability to manage their addiction. Smart Recovery meetings are generally used as an aftercare tool, which continues to remind individuals to utilize tools that have been researched. Many alternative programs create an individualized plan or approach and recognize that there is not a standard protocol that works for all. The AA model utilizes the Big Book, which goes over a sequence of the well known 12 steps each person in recovery must follow. AA meetings are used as an aftercare resource since these are readily available in the community in many rural and urban areas.
The 12-step alternative programs generally incorporate individual and group therapy that is provided by mental health practitioners. Groups include tools based off of psychological therapies and principles that have been researched. There are additional services that may be included such as continued medical assistance and monitoring. The 12-step programs utilize AA meetings as a primary tool in aiding individuals in becoming sober. It utilizes chips to mark sobriety and has individuals who have attained long-term sobriety pair up and assist newer members.
Spirituality and religion are not the foundation of 12-step alternative programs, though it may be incorporated through their individual therapy if this is an area that is important to the individual. AA model was initially founded with a religious affiliation and over time the language has been amended to use words such as spirituality or God in order to generalize to different religious backgrounds and faiths.
In the end, it is a matter of choice and preference. Individuals who have been unsuccessful with 12-step programs or found that they do not connect with 12-step philosophy may benefit from considering alternative approaches. Those who have co-occurring mental health issues such as anxiety, trauma, or depression could also benefit from an alternative approach since this usually incorporates some form of individual counseling by licensed mental health professionals to address underlying issues, which may affect a person’s ability to recover or could be exacerbating the addiction issues.
The main theoretical orientation utilized within our practice is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This form of therapy has received wide acceptance by the mental health community due to the scientifically validated nature of the treatment process for anxiety, depression, addiction, and many other concerns. The premise of CBT is that our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions are all connected and have a relationship with one another. Understanding the relationship between these three elements can help alleviate symptoms of different mental health concerns.
CBT focuses on helping the client become effective in learning ways to manage their own symptoms through teaching concrete skills as well as uncovering existing “schemas” that have developed through different early experiences that may be contributing to the current difficulties you are facing. The therapist typically takes an active approach and works alongside the client to help achieve specific goals in treatment. Helping you recognize and get to the root causes and connections of any destructive patterns that exist can help reduce any distorted perceptions that may be exacerbating the level of depression, anxiety, anger, hopelessness, or other feelings you may be experiencing. Depending on your individual concerns, we provide more intensive work that goes into different parts of your life and/or more skill-oriented therapy if management is your primary goal. The practice integrates other approaches as necessary depending on your individual concerns.
There are many misconceptions regarding what therapy truly consists of, who is likely to attend therapy, and what happens in the course of therapy. Therapy is a process, in which we create a meaningful and deep therapeutic connection to help you better understand your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The basic goals of therapy are to increase awareness about yourself and your past to better help you in the present and future. Therapy can have very specific, concrete goals that are short-term in nature or more long-term goals that will require more in-depth work. Many times people believe that going to therapy means you must have severe mental health concerns. Therapy can be utilized for the treatment and management of specific mental health issues (such as depression, addiction, trauma, or anxiety). Although this is one area in which therapy is beneficial, it is common to enter therapy for multiple other reasons. Individuals can seek therapy for more common life difficulties that most all humans experience at one time or another, such as stress, family conflict, marital conflict, or death or loss of a loved one. Other times therapy is used as a protective measure to enhance existing relationships, or simply to gain a better understanding of yourself. Utilizing therapy means you are turning to a healthy coping resources as opposed to the denial of these difficulties, which can often worsen the problem. Everyone can use a helping hand from time to time. Some periods of life call for more support than others. It takes strength to acknowledge the need for therapy.
You are likely to experience a wide range of emotions throughout your sessions, at times positive and other times negative. It can be anxiety-provoking to take the first step and start therapy. It’s normal to have this experience. However, most of the time once contact is made most individuals begin to feel very comfortable. Therapy gains and benefits are largely due to factors such as the client’s willingness to work in therapy and the quality of the alliance formed between the client and therapist. Therefore, it is essential both the therapist and client feel as though they are a good fit for each other in order to benefit from the therapeutic process.